What is an anxious person’s nightmare? That the worst-possible-case scenario that plays in their head actually happen, in real life. The COVID-19 pandemic in the last couple of months is pretty much that, a nightmare gone real. A nightmare that every one hope they can wake up from.
How can anxious people, or highly sensitive people go through a period like that?
First, you need to make sure you use as many tools as possible from the anxiety toolkit. In this article, here I want to share a specific tool that I am using to manage anxiety levels. This self-compassion tool has always been very useful for me in tough times: it’s a simple letter to myself.
A letter to yourself is a short 1-2 page letter (and yes, you have to start with “Dear [your name]”) in which you pretend that you are reassuring a very close friend with all the love, care and compassion you are capable of, except that very close friend is you. In the letter, you have to address all sources of your fear and anxiety, or all the negative thoughts that circle around your head. You have to dispute those negative thoughts with rational and positive thoughts. (Sounds familiar? These are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques) Most importantly you have to do it in a patient and kind tone as if you were trying to reassure a close friend. Print the letter and read it as many times as you need, every day if you must. It might sound a bit weird or too cheesy, but I can assure you it really helps. It will bring a lot of peace and self-compassion to your heart, which you will need in this uncertain period.
For reference, I am sharing below the letter I wrote to myself, after day 2 of quarantining with my parents and my brother in a house. That day I felt so down and anxious about the thought of having to stay in this situation for an indefinite amount of time that I couldn’t get my mind to be positive about it or “look at the bright side of things”. So I sat down, force myself to think of how I would reassure a close friend in the same situation as me, and wrote this letter to myself. Immediately after, I felt much better.
Here is the letter:
Dear [You],
First of all, you are brave, and I am proud of you. Why? Because you are going through a unique, surreal period of your life, period of the world’s history, that will be remember for years to come, written in history books as “The great COVID pandemic of 2020”. A period marked by uncertainty, fear, confinement, isolation, restriction of liberty. And you are doing fine. You really are. You are trying to stay positive, you are managing anxiety levels, you are taking care of your sleep. You are reaching out to others around you, and you are being proactive at setting your new work and life routine. Of course, things will be difficult in the next couple of weeks, probably months, but you will hold up, like you have so far and you will get through this, even stronger than before.
In a way, your past experiences of anxiety have set you up to face such challenges. You have been anxious before and eventually you’ve come at terms with that anxiety. 2020 brings its own challenges, but you are now better equipped to face those, you’ve learned a lot from the previous years and from your 20s mid-life crisis. In addition, this is in a way easier than the previous challenges because everyone is faced with the same threat and everyone is in the same state of stress and anxiety. It is a universal experience, you are not alone in this. This makes it easier to reach out to those around you to give each other mutual support. You can also be of help to others because of your own experience with dealing with anxiety.
[You], there are, a few things that you need to remember as you are going through this phase. First, you always have to remember that no matter how difficult the current situation is, it will come to an end. Things will come back to normal . It might return to normal in 1,3, 6 or 12 months. But it will inevitably will. So always keep the end in sight.
Why not take this extra special time to do things that you don’t normally do or find time to do? One of those thing is to reach out and re-connect with old friends to signal that you are here, you are thinking about them. Another thing is to spend a lot of time with your parents [insert whoever you are with], that you love and do not normally spend so much time with. Cherish this time, you will remember it. Thirdly, it is also an opportunity to work on those projects you never find time for. Learn languages for example, or create music, pick-up writing. Unleash your creativity! Last but surely not least, this is an opportunity to slow down, spend more time with yourself, cut the over-stimulation, learn to be alone, nurture the introvert in you. This is your time to ride the slow life that you have always aspire to but find hard to put in practice.
Another important thing to remember is that you are in a good and fortunate situation. You are with your parents and your brother [insert whoever you are with], all of whom care deeply about you and are here to protect and care for you, no matter what happen. You are in a nice house, you are fed, you have things to do, you are well equipped in terms of space, internet and so on. Most importantly you are safe, you will never never have to worry about your safety here. Safe, comfortable and loving environment is where you are at.
You have what you need, in your environment and inside of yourself. So remember to be grateful, make the best out of it, and enjoy enjoy the process. Might as well!
Good luck, I know you got this 😉
[You]
25 & Anxious 
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